


Without You

by TheDumbestAvenger



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Angst, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Maria Rambeau is a great mum, WANDAVISION SPOILERS!!, With a happyish ending, a little but its there, i'm being careful with the tags to avoid as many spoilers as possible, it's not all grim at least but not exactly cheery either, mostly grief and mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDumbestAvenger/pseuds/TheDumbestAvenger
Summary: *FULL SUMMARY IN THE NOTES I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING*A few scenes surrounding the opening of Wandavision episode four that I thought needed to be explored further
Relationships: Maria Rambeau & Monica Rambeau
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this right here is your final spoiler warning, if you don't want wandavision episode four spoilers then look away now
> 
> everyone good?
> 
> okay we're good
> 
> so first off i'm sure i don't need to remind yall how the episode started, but i thought there was a story somewhere in monica's snappening, specifically both maria and monica's grief at losing each other and how they deal with it
> 
> here's what i came up with

“You nervous?” Monica asked, opening Maria’s car door.

“Me? Never.” She tried to hide a wince as she climbed out, though she made a point of refusing Monica’s hand offering to help. “Are you?”

Monica reached over and grabbed an overnight bag from the back seat, slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m terrified.” She linked her arm with Maria’s as they made their way across the car park.

“Don’t be,” Maria lifted her head to kiss Monica’s cheek. “I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”

“It’s surgery, Mum. That’s not nothing.”

“Doctor Harley does this kind of thing every day. I’m in safe hands, okay?”

“It’s still scary.”

“I know.”

Monica put a hand to her chest in mock surprise, her mouth hanging open. “You’re such a liar,” she laughed.

Maria joined in. “Where did you think you got it from?”

Their mood turned much more sombre the second they entered the hospital. Maria gave her name to the receptionist and the next thing they knew, Doctor Harley was chasing up lab results from her pre-surgery tests.

A small TV in the corner of the room silently played the news. A reporter stood in Greenwich Village, the spot where Tony Stark had last been seen before disappearing into space with Spider-Man and someone who apparently looked a lot like a neurosurgeon who dropped off the grid a couple of years ago.

Maria caught Monica staring. “You should take a team up, try to find them. They could be in trouble.”

“I’m sure Hayward’s already planning something. Besides, I’m not leaving until you’re discharged.”

“Monica, I’m going to be out of action for a few weeks. Plus you’re our best agent. If anyone’s going to track down Iron Man in space, it’s you.”

“Okay, okay. But _after_ you’re out of surgery. I’ll talk to Hayward, set something up. Maybe we could contact the SHIELD team who keep appearing on our radars, they’d be good SWORD assets.”

Maria smiled. “Spoken like a true director.”

“In many, _many_ years when you’re old and grey, Mum.”

Doctor Harley knocked lightly on the doorframe before entering. She held a clipboard in one hand and flipped through a few pages. “Your tests all came back clear, so everything can go on as planned. We’re ready to take you down to the OR now.”

Maria turned her head towards Monica, trying to keep up a brave face. “Guess it’s time.”

Monica jumped up and wrapped her arms around her mum, burying her face in her shoulder like she would when she was younger. 

“Hey, hey,” Maria cooed. She kissed the top of Monica’s head and rubbed her back. “I’ll be okay, I promise. Just you wait and see.”

“I love you, Mum.”

“I love you too. So, so much.”

# #

Monica settled into her chair for a potentially long night. She took a work tablet from her overnight bag and attempted to focus on finishing the briefing report from her last mission, then maybe draft a rescue team for the missing superheroes.

Doctor Harley came every now and then with updates. The lastest of which brought with it a wave of relief, the surgery was a success. They’d removed all the cancer with clean margins, it couldn’t have gone much better.

Outside, evening dragged towards night. Monica completed the briefing with a yawn and curled up in the chair.

There’d be enough time for a short nap before they got Maria back.

# #

Maria came around slowly at first. Her heart monitor’s rhythmic beep hardly made a sound compared to the noise coming from outside the room. Shouting, crying, running footsteps. She forced her eyes open and rolled her head to the side.

Monica’s chair sat empty, her overnight bag at its feet.

The door opened, the commotion outside swelled to a crescendo before quieting again as the door clicked shut. Doctor Harley walked over, her face creased and eyes red and puffy. “Maria?” she asked, her voice wobbling, “I didn’t expect to see you awake.” 

Maria sat up with Harley’s help. She nodded towards the door. “What’s going on out there? Did something happen?”

Harley opened her mouth to speak, but her breath caught in her throat. “There…” She closed her eyes and sighed, sitting on the edge of Maria’s bed. “Something did happen. I don’t know what, no one does.”

“What are you saying?” Maria swallowed hard, her brain still foggy from the anaesthetic. The empty chair to her left seemed to be growing bigger by the second. “What’s going on?”

“We’d just finished your surgery, about to leave the OR, when- When the anaesthetist and two of our nurses just… disappeared.”

“Disappeared? How?”

Harley’s jaw worked as she fought to hold back tears. “One second they were standing there, the next they were dust. It’s not just here, either. This is happening across the world. People just…”

“...Gone,” Maria finished the thought. A thousand questions raced through her mind as she tried to process the information. What caused this? Was Carol involved? Had she disappeared too? How was SWORD handling this? _Were_ SWORD handling it? Who else had-

“Where’s Monica?” Fear gripped Maria’s stomach and twisted it into knots, yet she couldn’t bring her eyes from the chair. The empty chair with Monica’s bag at its feet. The bag with flecks of dust clinging to its surface.

“I haven’t seen her since…”

“No.”

“I’m so sorry, Maria.”

“No!” A sob ripped from her throat, so loud and raw that Harley jumped to her feet. She slipped her hand into Maria’s as tears fell freely down both their faces.

Maria needed to get out, her brain screamed for her to run. Run to anywhere but here. 

Harley kept talking, trying to hold Maria down and defend against her failing limbs as she tried to stand. More doctors entered the room, sharp pain in her arm, then everything went black.

# #

SWORD HQ was eerily empty. Not even the minimum capacity staff quota had been filled, not that anyone cared all that much. Half the agents were gone, and the other half were grieving.

Precious little information about the incident was revealed to the public, though Rogers and Romanoff were holding a press conference at the end of the week. All Maria knew, all anyone knew, what that the Avengers had fought. And they had lost.

Now they were living the consequences.

Missing posters covered every street light as people clung to the hope their loved ones weren’t _gone_ so much as just gone. Memorials popped up in places where hope was the thing that was missing.

The world had gone silent.

Maria only met three people on a walk through SWORD HQ where she’d normally meet at least fifty. She held a stack of files under one arm and swiftly entered Hayward’s office.

“Director Rambeau?”

Maria added the files to a large pile in the corner by the door. Too big to fit in any filing cabinet. “I finished compiling the list of missing agents.” She looked down, Monica’s face looked back up at her. Carefully, she tucked the photo into its file and moved further into the room. “Now we just need a plan on how to proceed.”

“Are you sure you should be working?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” she snapped, then immediately regretted it. “Everyone in the world is hurting, Hayward. They need our help now more than ever, whether they know it or not.”

“I don’t disagree,” Hayward sighed. “I just question our ability to provide it.” He slumped into the chair behind his desk, Maria took the one opposite. “I never asked, how’d the operation go?”

“Couldn't have been better.”

They both chose to ignore the underlying issue of that answer.

“My wife left on a business trip that morning.” Hayward stared out of the window, speaking almost to himself. “I didn’t know what happened, still don’t really. I waited days for her to call, tell me she arrived safely. And when she finally did, it was a stranger on the other end of the line, someone who had found her car with her bags still inside… They thought I should know.”

“She was a great woman, Tyler.”

“So was Monica. The best agent we ever had.”

Maria leaned forward. “And we’ll have them back, one day. The Avengers will fix this, and if they don’t, then we’ll do it.”

“Maria-”

“Half of the population doesn’t just disappear. Someone out there caused this, so someone out there can reverse it, too. We need to send up search parties for Stark and the others. When they’re back-”

“If.”

“ _When_ they’re back, I’ll talk to them. Find out what happened up there. Make a plan. Have you reached out to Carol, yet? Maybe she knows where Stark is.”

Hayward smiled. “I’ve always admired your optimism. It’s what makes you a good leader here.”

“Speaking of plans…” Maria reached into her handbag and pulled out a piece of paper with various handwritten notes. “Now this is just an outline, but when the agents come back we’re going to need some rules. They’re grounded, for one. I know Monica will be itching to get back up there, but we can’t allow her too straight away. It’s a matter of safety.”

“I agree,” Hayward nodded along, “their hearts may be in the right place, but their heads won’t.”

“Exactly. So we implement additional psych assessments before agents are cleared for missions. For the agents still here, as well.”

“Physicals, too. Who knows what lasting effects this could have on a person. And we can offer retraining to anyone who needs it.”

Maria jotted the ideas down. The pair kept going, theorising potential scenarios and how best to resolve each one. 

After moving on to the third piece of paper, Hayward called for a time out and went off to fetch them both a coffee. Maria looked down at their work, nodding slowly to herself. 

Monica was coming back, and she’d believe it until her dying breath. There was no other choice.

# #

Even after two years, the world hadn’t moved on. How could it? Billions of people died within seconds. Billions of jobs suddenly had no one to complete them. Entire neighbourhoods had been abandoned, and cities lost their buzz.

Moving on was impossible.

Memorials to the Vanished were built worldwide, remembering those who were lost forever. Maria visited the marble slab holding Monica’s name every weekend, no matter how weak the chemotherapy left her. She’d bring a bunch of flowers and leave them at its base, then promise Monica she’d get her back one day.

SWORD devoted most of their energy into looking for ways to reverse the snap. They’d spoken to the Avengers, what was left of SHIELD, even Stark after he’d been found in the outer reaches of space by Captain Marvel. They came away with more questions and precious few answers.

Still, Maria never gave up hope. Not even in her dying breath.

# #

Monica sucked in a sharp breath, disorientated from waking up so quickly. Everything felt… _weird._ And her hands-

Her hands formed before her eyes. It only took a second, but she knew what she’d seen. Dust, coming together and becoming hands. Her hands. She flexed experimentally. Everything seemed to be working just fine.

“Mum-?” Monica cut herself off. The bed was empty. The bed hadn’t even been there moments ago. _How had they gotten it back without waking her, and why was it empty?_

Monica reached the door in three steps, her heart hammering. People were shouting outside, running, crying, screaming, hugging. She pushed her way through the crowded hallways, watching more people appear from the dust. 

_Shouting, running, crying, screaming, hugging._

“Woah!” She bumped into a nurse wearing dark blue scrubs. They locked eyes for a moment. “What’s happening?”

“I- I don’t…” he stammered.

“Do you know where the patient from room 104 went?”

“I…” The nurse looked through Monica blankly. “I need to phone my wife.” He left.

Monica kept going. She reached the reception and ran up to the desk, calling to anyone listening. “Where’s the patient from room 104? Does anyone know?”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

More people swarmed the desk, all asking similar questions, all getting the same response. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, as people swelled around her. Everything span, or maybe just Monica, she couldn’t tell. Stumbling away, someone called her name.

“Monica?” They sounded as confused as Monica felt.

“Doctor Harley?” Her mind tunnel-visioned. Harley would know. She could clear this up.

“I can’t believe it,” she murmured. “... Where did you go?”

“Go? I’ve been in her room. I mean, maybe I fell asleep but no longer than twenty minutes.” Doctor Harley just looked up at her, her face dismayed. “Doctor Harley, where’s my Mum?”

“Your Mum… She died, honey.”

“What?” Monica stepped back. “No, no, no. You’re mistaken. The surgery went well. Clean margins, you said so yourself.”

Doctor Harley’s shoulders sagged. “The cancer came back-”

“Okay, stop. Stop it. My mum is Maria Rambeau. You’re- I don’t-”

“Monica, listen to me.” Doctor Harley held onto Monica’s forearms, holding her steady. “I don’t understand what’s happening, but you need to listen to me. Maria died three years ago. Which was two years after you…”

“After I what?”

“After you disappeared.”

All the breath left Monica’s lungs. Try as she might, she just couldn’t replace it. Doctor Harley guided her back to the hospital room, sat her on the bed - _Maria’s bed_ \- and coached her through some breathing exercises.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Doctor Harley said several minutes later. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.”

“No, I’m…” Monica stood and picked up her overnight bag. “I’m just going to get some air. Thank you. For everything.”

# #

It took almost two hours to get across town to her apartment. The roads were packed with cars and people. Everywhere Monica looked, someone was reuniting with a loved one. Apparently after years, though it felt like the blink of an eye.

Monica fumbled through her bag, looking for her keys. She pulled them out, about to unlock her door when it opened.

The man inside seemed just as surprised to see her standing there as she did him. He also seemed to recover quicker. “Oh,” he tried to smile, though it was a little awkward, “You must be the person who used to live here?”

“Used to…?” Right, of course. Five years. “Yeah, that’s me. Um…” Monica looked back over her shoulder, “I guess I should go.”

“Wait,” the man stopped her in her tracks. “Have you got somewhere to stay? I mean, I wouldn’t want to just leave you out on the street.”

“Yeah, I’ve got friends who live nearby. I’ll go there.” _So long as they didn’t disappear, too._

The man smiled again, much more genuine this time. “And say hi to your mum from me. I helped her move your stuff out, she’s a lovely woman.”

“Thanks... I will.” Monica said goodbye and left as quickly as possible, a new destination in mind.

# #

The grass was overgrown, littered with fallen branches from storm-battered trees. It wasn’t much of a surprise, of course. No one had been there in three years.

Monica walked up the porch steps of her childhood home, hand shaking slightly as she tried the key. Thankfully it worked. Cobwebs and dust covered almost every surface inside, but apart from that everything seemed untouched since her visit this morning to pick up Maria. This morning five years ago.

Before she had time to even turn on the light, the phone rang. Curious, Monica hurried to answer. “Hello?”

“My god…” the voice on the other line chuckled. “It’s true. It’s really true?”

“Hayward?”

“It’s great to hear your voice, Monica.”

“You too… Listen, can you tell me what’s going on exactly? How come I took mum for her surgery this morning and now people are telling me it’s been five years.”

Hayward sighed sadly, “Okay, but just let me finish before you ask questions, alright?”

“Alright.”

“You remember Stark disappeared into space? Well, that was just the start, turns out. Him and Spider-Man went up in rescue of Doctor Strange - he’s new, magician. Now this Strange guy was in possession of an Infinity Stone, and they couldn’t let it get into the wrong hands.

Next thing we know, Captain America and the other rogues are fighting alongside the Avengers in Wakanda and… Well, they lost. This alien, Thanos, got all of the stones, snapped his fingers, and half the population turned to dust.”

Monica hoped Hayward couldn’t hear quite how erratic her breathing was over the phone.

“About a month later, Stark returned - that’s when we got most of our information about what happened. The Avengers planned a mission with Carol to get the stones back but it went south. To cut a long story long, it’s five years later and people are appearing all over HQ.”

“...Wow…”

“You can say that again.”

Monica took a moment to collect her thoughts. “Do we know why people are coming back?”

“There’s chatter that something’s going down at the New Avengers Facility. Spaceship, explosions, the whole works.” Muffled sounds came across the line. “Sorry, Monica, I’ve got to go. Things here are crazy-”

“Do you need me to come in?”

“No, I’m alright. Take as much time as you-” he stopped talking abruptly.

“Hayward?”

“My phone’s ringing.” Monica could hear the smile in his voice. “I think it’s my wife.”

“Well don’t let me keep you.”

Hayward hung up without saying goodbye, not that she blamed him.

Monica turned her attention to the house, dusting and de-cobwebbing, rearranging photos of her and Maria and Carol, making a few minor repairs to the slightly rotten staircase. She avoided looking at the news, answered calls from a few friends and promised to meet them in person as soon as possible.

And then a gentle thud came from outside and Carol Danvers walked into the sitting room, her face bloody, hair cut short, and tears in her suit. Monica ran towards her without thinking and locked her arms around her middle just how she used to as a kid. Carol hugged her back just as tight, whispering gently.

“Hey, Lieutenant Trouble.” Carol held Monica at arm’s length, unable to stop smiling. “Long time no see.”

“What’s… The Avengers Facility, were you there? What happened?”

“We won. Well, Stark won, it took a lot out of him but he’s with the best doctors imaginable. I think he’s gonna pull through. Thanos is dead, the stones are being dealt with, everyone’s back, but none of that matters right now.” 

“You know about Mum?”

Carol nodded solemnly. She led Monica over to the sofa and sat down. “She wasn’t alone, I stayed with her at the end.” A tear fell down Carol’s cheek, she wiped it away and took Monica’s hand in hers. “There’s a lot she wanted me to tell you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! also to anyone who's interested dear peter parker, my dear evan hansen au, is well on its way and i'm so excited to share it with yall! if you wanted you can follow me on tumblr at thedumbestavenger for more writing updates plus super original fic titles
> 
> thanks again! <3


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